Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots

Campaign speech. I am supposed to be at least halfway through in memorising my campaign speech. Instead, I am here. Then again, so are you. Shouldn't you be, like, studying or something, you bum, you?

HELLO INHABITANTS OF PLANET EARTH. I am so tired.

Campaigning has been a handful, to say the least. and unfortunately, I am glad to say that it'll all be over soon, faster than you can say "OMWORDTHAT'SAKANGAROOCRAPWHAT'SAKANGAROODOINGINSINGAPORENOTLOCKEDUPINANENCLOSURECALLTHEFREAKINGSPCAOMGIT'SEATINGMEYEBALLSAHHHHHH!"

In other news, tabletennis season has started. ah.

Have been fighting urge to cry whenever I see RJnetballers. If only they knew how much I miss them. They are such amazing people, truly, they are. They made me feel like family, no questions asked. nothing.

Nobody seems to really care that I hate being in this situation. Telling me, "oh, you know, you're a commodity that everyone wants", or "wow, you wield so much power. you're. so. lucky".

oh but Ruimin cares. And that's why I love you, dear.

But the world. Oh, the world.

it's funny because I said yes, and put myself where I am right now. But it was me against my heart and my mind. and that was never a battle I was predestined to win. asshole pitted my guilty conscience against me, that's just low. But I lost, so I guess joke's on me.

I don't belong in this team. and everyone's sure as hell not making an effort. I thought I would feel more comfortable, because I'd know what I was doing for a change. Wrong, Natalie. So close, but so wrong.

I think I just need to focus on what's important. I just need to study hard, train hard, trust hard. yes, I need to have more faith. I need to trust God more.

because 'the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.'

Jesus loves me, and that's reason enough to keep on living.

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