So, where do we go from here?
We've seen this happen before, we've been in this state - in a mess - before. In a way it makes this mess all the more unbearable. Like we've clocked in all the mess we could manage, and now it's spewing from the seams, from the spectrum A to Z, in all colours, in all directions. Like we've walked toward the precipice of total annihilation, and instead of stepping away from the ledge like we've always done before, we've jumped.
What I fear the most is the fact that nothing's ever gonna be the same again.
It's excruciating. People take adjectives much like they take salt - much too lightly. Believe me when I say this: the anguish is excruciating. Breathing comes too hard, if not in gasps and if at all. Teenage romances and heart-breaks, forget them. Nothing beats the real stuff where the collateral damage is cold-hard and the "many fish in the sea", sorry excuse for a word of comfort is thrown out the window. Nothing beats the real stuff, especially this close to home.
Can't trust myself to talk about it in real life. Don't trust myself enough not to shatter asunder into a million little pieces and have people help to pick up the pieces.
It's just another case in a file, it's just business. And happy in this, I am not bred so dull and I can learn - to learn that at least amicability would be pursued, to learn that she'd be given a compensation for all the shitty years she's had to put up with and of course, the one that bags the prize, to learn that once anyone leaves, they're never coming back.
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