so yeah anyway

I don't want to worry about work anymore.

Today was a good day and I honestly thank God for it. I decided not to head back to hall after training. Instead, we went for Mcdonalds. And even though Macs can hardly be counted as comfort food, it felt calming to be with people who weren't expecting me to do anything for them, to be around people who wanted me only to be happy and have fun. I didn't care anymore that I had a billion other deadlines to meet, or that my test next week required some studying to be done. Company, that matters. What else does, I don't know for sure. But that I do know. And as I allowed my legs to take charge of the slope, to unwind and untangle itself from my inhibitions, I felt like a child once again. We used to do these things, didn't we. And we didn't care for the consequences, maybe we didn't even know. (I like to think that we didn't care.) Run run running, the wind in my face, a fear in my heart that if I tripped, it would hurt pretty badly. But meh, whatever. Yeah, exactly, whatever.

I know I'm gonna have to start remembering what I have to do tomorrow again. But right now, at 3.46AM in the morning, I really couldn't care less. And I don't want to wake up in a panic every time, making a hasty mental list of the things I still have to do, or feeling guilty that I was sleeping instead of meeting expectations and jumping through hoops. Tonight, let me not care, Lord.  I don't know if that's the right thing to want, but I don't want to reason right and wrong at this time. Just let me not care and still do awesome anyway, ok?

Alright, cool. See you in the morning.
.