you know it's true / everything I do

I miss you already. To me, you are different. To me, you are gone.

Today, I felt truly happy because I'd had many many hours of sleep. And everything feels like it's going to be better now that I have officially stepped down. Thank you, God.

But it breaks my heart when I think about how busy you're going to be. How selfish of me to have thought that we could be normal residents this year, together. For only a short while. There are so many things I've wanted to say to you so many countless times. But I've bitten my tongue and held back my words, mortified by the thought that in being honest with you, I'd just be making things worse.

People say I'm the female version of you. If that were true, you'd be missing me. Maybe not so much, and it'd probably not manifest itself in the form of prose, but more or less, you'd be upset too.

But I can safely say that that's not the case. My first instinct is to call it quits, run and hide. But you're still a good friend and I promised I'd be supportive. So I'm trying. Although you obviously don't get that I am. But I'm trying to be different, to be better, especially when I don't have an excuse not to be. So I'm going to give more. I'm gonna give you more, and I'll wait on God to replenish me.

He will grant me strength and the ability to love. Everything I do, I do it for You.