Tuesday, December 22, 2015

221215

Ugh. I feel shitty.

Spent hours feeling irritated at my artwork for FYP website. It doesn't look right. It looks shitty. I feel shitty. And I couldn't find good music to work to. Hairspray? Nah. Jason Mraz? Boring. Sara Bareilles? Not in the mood. Les Mis? Cast recordings don't seem to be doing the trick.

Such a nonissue and yet it takes me a good five minutes to choose a new song every time. I hate working in silence. I feel as if I'm wasting all this time not listening to music.

And I bought a lot of food for dinner because everything looked so good (and because I was in a bad enough mood, I decided to buy lots of meat). In the end, I could barely finish half of each item I bought.

Now I'm really hungry.

Felt so hot and sticky and itchy so stripped to bare minimum. How crazy a fool I must look now.

I JUST WANT TO REPLAY TODAY AND HAVE IT GO RIGHT.

Things weren't right today. The game wasn't right. The miss wasn't right. The catch wasn't right. The cancellation wasn't right. My response to the cancellation wasn't right. Leaving my laundry in laundry for seven hours wasn't right. Photoshop wasn't right. How I spoke to him wasn't right.

I'm not right. I'm wrong, Lord. I always seem to be wrong. The way I feel, the things I say, the person I am. I know I'm wonderfully created by You but I seem to be messing everything up. Including myself.

Let's just call it a day.

No comments:

Post a Comment