King David was depressed

This is what the past few months have taught me: no one is exempt from being mentally ill to some degree at a certain point in life.

Too many friends, acquaintances, strangers have confessed to feeling depressed. Whether or not clinicians would agree, would issue out the diagnosis or the pills, I believe that these people (myself included) were talking about that feeling of indescribable sadness, hopelessness, joylessness that we find difficult to articulate or even embarrassing to display in public. Maybe it's not depression. Fine, give it another name - immense dysphoria (that sounds kinda romantic I did not intend that).

And all of us think we can deal with it on our own. The fortunate come to their senses and realise, in time, that they can't or that they shouldn't. The unfortunate, on the other hand, suffer a little longer or suffer no more. Ever.

I just learnt of a junior that killed herself yesterday. "It's just a passive feeling of... not minding if I had to leave," she wrote. I can identify with that. Then she jumped. I guess that passive feeling of not minding if she had to leave devolved into an active feeling of wanting to. I mean, that's what really gives you the courage to climb those stairs and erase that effort in seconds, isn't it?

I don't relate to that. If she thinks that being sad is a waste of life, well I say choosing death is a much, much greater one. As long as God has given me breath, I will use it to find His purpose, to find Him.

Out of sync or not, mentally ill or not, depressed or not, what is more sovereign than God?