He goes out of his way to make her happy. And I don't like that. He's my boss. Why does he care whether she's happy or unhappy, fussy or gay? Still, like a father coaxes his crying child into fits of laughter, he coos at her, grinning his dorky childish grin and cracking his left-fielded, almost slap-stick, jokes.
Can we say that we are the best agency in Asia?
I wonder if she notices. Or whether she simply turns her nose up and clip clops away, telling everyone in her trail that she's having a bad day or that she's had enough. Huff puff.
"Maybe it's because she behaves like a child." I wanted to believe that.
*****
I took off my glasses and rubbed at the smudges on the lens. Slowly, purposefully. I didn't want to meet gazes, I didn't want to leak emotions. I didn't feel particularly upset, I just wanted to be within myself in that moment. To see within. To feel within.
"Have you seen NINJAGO yet, Nat?" He asked. "No. Why? Have you?" I answered normally. "No. I actually haven't seen a movie in ages. Not even at home." It was a non-conversation, started only because I think he thought something was up with me. Why didn't he address the question to T as well? She's as much part of the account as I am.
*****
He came over to us as we were talking in hushed tones. He told us he'd deal with the script. That translated as "I'm going to take care of it" in my head. He stood tall, authoritatively, assertively. Was this him stepping up and being the leader we needed? He spoke more, I didn't look at him. I wasn't looking at anything. For a second, I wasn't a feeling being. I was space, filling the limbo between planes. Then, he stopped and dipped his head ever so slightly, almost as if to catch my attention. I looked at him. His eyes widened in a sayang kind of "ok?" I managed a wry smile and a nod. I hope he doesn't think I need taking care of. This is work. I'm an adult.
*****
My boss felt like a papa today. Not just to her, but to me. And today I felt like I was a kid who had a spat with her sister. And our papa made it all better.
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