we are not who you think we are.

Teenage dreams
in a teenage circus.
Running around like a clown on purpose.
- Mika, We are Golden

Friends have been a little morose lately.

What's it gonna take to turn that frown upside-down huh?

I've realised something. You know what I've realised? I don't know what I've realised but do you know what I've realised? yes, in fact, I do realise what I've realised.

Nothing has meaning anymore. Be it going for lectures, studying, training and... well, that's pretty much all I do actually haha. I do it because I can. I do it because I have to. and if I don't do it, I just don't. Everything is a brute fact; I have to attend class because I have to attend class. no why, no why not.

it's like saying y=y

no freaking duh.

To a certain extent, it's okay. Because since everything has lost its meaning, then meaning has lost its meaning too. and being a mindless drone who has lost meaning to meaning actually makes time pass along quite quickly. quite fun actually.

and playlists in the sky are useless because people sing louder than me and they don't care for the lyrics. they rush the song into melting into the next line without letting instrumental period it's last strum. and they don't finish singing songs, they just abandon and move on. Without its completion, without every word, every pause, every beating drum string, YOU MASSACRE THE SONG. DECAPITATION-NISM-ISM.

and then I lose interest, angry bitter sullen, casting it beneath my feet and stomping it into the dirt.

I am GOLDEN.

Let x be "strawberries"
golden < x < psychedelic/dude!
Solution set: (golden, psychedelic/dude!)