I suppose my pessimism stems from the fact that I've never actually been good at anything. Anything that matters, at least. (but what "matters", I guess, changes over time. Changes when I mature in Christ too. Which might sound scary, but is, in fact, a good thing) Disappointed,because I expect more from myself. Worried, because I know that it could swing either way - I could either do moderately well, or be a complete and utter flop. How could it not affect me, also, that others get to delight in their successes when they hardly have to try. Not that I don't try to be happy for them. I just don't succeed in doing so.
But it's alright. I'm keeping my spirits up, I'm keeping in mind Sundays. I refuse to let myself wallow in self-pity for too long. Move on with life, let's go. I have faith, I have will. I know I have God. It's going to be alright. So I'm new and improved - I'm optimistic. Tired-looking, but still okay.
How do you like me now, world.
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