I will not boast in anything-

Philippians 4:8 'Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.'

I wonder how people will speak of me when I die. I'd rather them speak plainly of me than falsely. I'd rather them speak nothing of me at all, than to do so driven by emotion, guilt, or obligation. I'd rather have them sing the songs that made me forget the world, than to have them sing the songs that remind the world of me. I wonder how far off my birthday would be from the day of my death. I wonder how pretty I'd look as a dead person.

Some things we don't speak of because it's bad feng shui. Some things we don't speak of because it's taboo. Some things we don't speak of because we're afraid, and if refraining from speaking of it is our respite, then we cling on to that dearly, as if for our lives.

But death is a happy occasion, albeit an awfully tedious one - so many people with so many other things to do, having so little to say but having so much of a conscience to have to say something.

June is my muse, only because it's so bleak, so depressing, and so terribly tiring. But if you must know, then no, I'm not in need of 'cheering up'. I'm fine. I'm happy even. I love my friends, I love my God and I love this day in which I live and am loved in return.

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