A few days in camp feels like an eternity. I come out feeling a million years older and in a million ways different than when I first entered. Everything blurs. I don't understand anything. My eyes they struggle to focus and my head leaves me hanging. Everything feels worse - more afraid, less confident, angrier - and I just want to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it but I want you to understand everything (and I mean absolutely everything) without me having to say anything at all. I can't. understand what is happening. What is happening. I want to drown in a hug, not a human one because few are big enough to engulf me. I want to be gasping for air, to be able to hide my face and scream and feel safe all at the same time. And I want You to tell me what's going on and that everything is working for the greater good. I want that faith but I can't because I need to understand, that's my kryptonite, I need to understand in order to be okay. You are pathetic.
One month, that's all it has been.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment