Incapable

I can't do this. I can't breathe. Don't disappear, she told me. I thought that she was being melodramatic. But I feel it. I feel myself disappearing. From taking too deep breaths in a struggle to calm down. Like I'm drowning in air. From saying no all the time. Leaving everything else on the back-burner whilst I convince myself that I'll come back to them after this is all over. Or at least I try to convince myself that I will. If I can at all. 

I can't do this and I don't want to do this anymore.