These days.

When I was a kid, I was invincible. Or at least I believed I was. No one was better than I, regardless of age or height. I would beat them all the same because I was invincible. I knew all the answers, I was a wall, a fortress. During games, I would smirk because I already knew the outcome. And I won, all the time. Because I was invincible.

But that power grew dimmer and weaker as I grew older. Self-doubt, uncertainty and fear suddenly became apparent to me. And I wasn't so sure anymore. I didn't smile during games, I would worry, frown and even get scolded for (allegedly) sulking. I protested against my coach, tried to tell him that I wasn't sulking, that it was my face. But he saw through me, he knew I was becoming mortal, and he hated me for recognising it.

Uncertainty turned to defeat. Where there once stood a wall, only a person with holes now remains. I see them everywhere, the holes. I am filled with them. Every single hole a weakness, a failing, a fault. And I can't remember what being invincible feels like anymore.

I can't remember anything now that I live with these holes.
.