Trying to find a way to feel better about myself. This blame that I lather in my hands like blood, it stains my fingers red. Nothing I tell myself makes this lump in my chest go away, I know it's my fault, I'm trying to do something about it. But there's nothing that can be done. Absolutely nothing. How did it become like this, I keep asking myself. My own laziness, carelessness. Irresponsible. I procrastinate. I find excuses and I pass on the blame. That's what happened, isn't it?
And the worst part is, I need you to comfort me. Because you'd tell me all the sweet things I'd want to hear. You don't always, but when it counts, you do. But I can't be feeling this way about you. It's wrong and it's bad. And I need to keep my mind together to think of a solution to this problem. To my problem. Why won't people do anything during Chinese New Year ):
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