Hard enough

Too hard. It was too hard to be optimistic today. I feel like death and nothing is helping, not the grades, not the prospect of having another week where I can't find room to breathe or move or take a break, not anything. Not anything at all. I've always been good at this optimism thing but today it was too damn hard. 

Please, please pursue me. Because my hope and my faith, they are wavering. And I don't see. I don't see what I'm supposed to do, I don't see what You're trying to show me. What is it What is going on What the hell am I supposed to do.

Too damn hard today. But hey, whatever. Tomorrow could be better. The day after could suck. And who knows, the day after that, the world could end. 

Whatever. Like srsly. Just whatever.