and it takes all my strength not to dig you up.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Do you do this thing that I do. Do you try so hard to get people to like you, and try not at all to stay in touch. Do you feel this thing that I do, like if you disappeared for awhile, things would right itself or people would disappear too, along with their problems and the problems they give you. Like guilt. 

Will I one day be alone. Do I take notice, do I even care. Do I maybe, perhaps, prefer it.

I think you're going to lose me. This is my chance to get you out of my system, to get rid of you. And really, it takes all my strength.

I'm going to do QT today. I feel excited.

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