One of the reasons why I hate missing trainings is because I feel less of a daughter every time I do. Like my inability to turn up makes me an even greater disappointment to him than I already am.
I was having a bad enough day on Thursday, and his impatience with me just made it that much worse. He doesn't quite know that I struggle with my self-esteem on a daily basis, or that sometimes I feel so inadequate that I walk back from school with my head down so that I don't have to make eye contact with people I don't even know. With Nigel gone and having to handle a sudden influx of responsibilities, I can't say that I've been very optimistic the past week. My father doesn't even know I'm the Acting President for my hall now. Not like that's remotely as important as being present at trainings, I suppose.
My father doesn't know anything. I'd like to believe that if he did, that he'd give a shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment