By faith and not by sight

Lately, it's been sounding a lot like silence.

It sounds like an unreleased breath of anticipation, of nervous hope, of premeditated disappointment. And, my whole life, it feels like I've been waiting. Waiting on God to make something out of me, waiting to find out the whole point of my being here. Other times, waiting for things to die down so I won't have the excuse of being 'too busy' again. Although, now that the crazy has dissipated, I'm waiting on life to beckon.

Because I'm afraid to move, if in the wrong direction. And I'm afraid to try, if for naught. 

For though my little heart keeps beating, You tell me to die. To die so that I may live. To give up so that I may be victorious. To break so that I may be whole.

For though my little heart keeps beating faster, You tell me not to be afraid. And You know, You know, You know. And I know that all things will be made beautiful in its time. In Your time.

Lately, it's been sounding a lot like silence. But I now know that the sound I hear is not of silence, but of distance. 

And I want to come home.

.