This is where it ends.

So, this is it. This is how it ends. The weeks of anticipation, the floaty flights of fancy. The wishing, hoping, dismissal, struggling. The ache, the hate, the anger, the crying. The money spent, the smiles hidden, the stares stolen, the nights not slept. The mornings in darkness, the sweat in the sweltering room, the pauses en route to your room. The eyes on the ground, the slump in my back, the advice taken, the groans bemoaned.

This is how it ends. You gave me 23 songs, I barely liked 2. I gave you your present that I spent far too much money and way too much thought on. I had 1 meal the next day because I was making up for my huge expense. I drew you a card, I held back on words I wanted to say. Because I knew that if I said too much, I'd lose so much - my heart, my patience and maybe even my mind.  I thought you'd say something, that you'd do something but you, as usual, told me to have a 'good night'. You shooed me to sleep, you silenced me with the convenience of time. So, this is the part where I surrender. I give up. I walk away. I heed the advice I've been given, I pay obedience to God. 

This is how it ends. It hurts now but still they say, "Patience, Natalie. Take your patience medicine," "Obedience, Natalie. Swallow your obedience pills."

;_; I am upset.