Satisfied

It's 2022. I'm back.

So much has happened. Yet, not sure if much has changed. Still fuddled, still muddled. 

That thing with that boy. And today's thing that only wrapped at 3am.

Will I ever be satisfied? Fine, I get that this isn't an award-winning script. It's pretty basic. Boring at best. But where I was from, people had pride and took pride. They detailed the details, they settled for nothing.

You wandered away. You talked grandly about other projects and paid little heed to the project at hand. You rubbed your eyes and shook your head, offering little nothing in your comments and suggestions. You didn't press, weren't precious, didn't push. You didn't seem to care. Why were you even there? Why did we need you? For face? For client confidence? 

Fuck it.

But I know that this isn't the first time I've felt this way. Misunderstood. Overlooked. Unheard. And they've been many a time where I've harboured the same thought: I don't want to do this anymore. If no one else gets it, gets me, then this isn't for me. 

Will I ever be satisfied?

I wrote this script. I had a vision, a plan. I took a part of me and put it in writing, on paper, out there. Why the fuck was it left in the hands of people who had zero fucks to give to bring it to life?

I will never be satisfied.