Even they feel the cold.

Never been good with criticism. Today, I think I did a pretty good job at it. Baby steps. Even though I could point out a thousand different flaws in her tiny speech, I didn't. It was really hard. But I now feel somewhat at peace with not arguing with her at that moment. It's not even Day 1 yet though, so. We'll see how this goes.

Still have a lot of pride and hurt in my heart. Cell talked about forgiveness last week, it was duly applicable and proportionately difficult to put into real time action. He said that he's over it but I really think he's missing the point. It wasn't about him and it still isn't. "Controlled by your emotions" he labelled me. I concur, I do let emotions take over me but I think this time it was called for. And advising me to be void of emotion or muffling the screaming reasons in my head will not make me a better person or more of a person. How can it? True, I will be easier to work with. Maybe that's all he really cares about. Figures.

"Difficult to be around" but it's "ok". That was a tough pill to swallow and once again, criticism is not fun. I want to replay the entire past year and do everything differently. I won't get too close and I won't get too emotionally attached. It will be less joyous but also less painful. Both for them and myself. Win-win.

Emotional now that the hormones are rampaging. But also starkly lucid. Because people are spilling truths and realities left, right and centre. So it's hard not to see things for what they really are and it's hard not to react to them, although said reactions may be over-cooked. But I blame that on the hormones and female parts anyway. Trying to mend some bridges but not all cracks can be soldered over and even then, still visible to the naked eye.

Tough.