"I have a lot of respect for teachers. I mean, forget the grade that they gave you, nevermind if the kids don't seem to be learning like you wish they would. I'm sure that, in some way, you have changed their lives. And I honestly do believe that."
Every time my mum drives me back, I feel the same tinge of reluctance I did when I was 7 years old. As crazy as things sometimes get, and as disappointed as I sometimes do get of her, she's still my mum. She makes me feel safe and she makes me feel like things are going to be ok, just because she loves me and she's there for me. And this week, (I hate to say this) but I am really scared. "All the best", she said as I alighted. The same 'all the best' she gives me whenever I tell her I have a test, or whenever I had tabletennis selections coming up, or whenever I had a competition and I was a nervous wreck. It helps more than she knows.
She was my hero. I am proud of her because she teaches kids to be outstanding people, even though they don't know yet that they have that potential. I am proud of my mum because she has been strong in the face of adversity and she has been a mother, through and through, despite the lack of love. I am proud of her because she is the best baker in the world and she taught me everything I know. When I freaked out about the cake batter, she was the one who let me in on her little secret of straining it so it doesn't come out lumpy. She taught me to be patient when stirring the lemon curd (till it's like glue) so that I get a nice firm pie filling. And I'm proud of her because she was the first ever person to tell me about God and how He changed her life and that even though her life has been tough, that she has stuck with Him despite it all.
I really wish I had my mummy right now ): I miss the mum I used to love when I wasn't old enough to question otherwise.
Damn I'm scared.
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