Before you trade in your summer skin

I am not big enough.

I cannot be that person who loves without being loved back. I cannot be that person who is kind to those who are rude to me. I need specific people to fill my specific expectations if not I'm not big enough to stick around and be brave, be vulnerable. I'm not big enough to accept that sometimes the exact things I'm so sure about are the things that make me the biggest fool out of me.

I've always hated being big, my whole life - hated being tall, having big feet, broad shoulders. I hate being big because I can't come to terms with the person I am and the person I have to give up.

But if I've always lamented being big, why is my grouse now that I'm not big enough?

I get nothing out of this friendship I don't know why I'm even trying anymore. If you don't need me for anything else, I hope you don't mind if I exit now.

Oh God.